Fertility Struggles
It’s a funny old world when you stop to think about everything. You spend many years desperately avoiding getting pregnant and trying various methods of birth control and this is normal. You are young, vibrant and living your best life until your period is late you don’t even think about what would happen if you get pregnant. Fast forward 10 years and you have met your dream partner and want a baby to complete your family. Again, you presume it will be easy and can start trying with expectations it should only take a few months. When BANG… the rug is most definitely pulled from under you and you realise this isn’t going to be easy and you have a sudden surge of panic and despair.
Sound familiar?!! This is most certainly how I felt and when I was told getting pregnant was going to be a long road with many bumps along the way, I cried. Not little tiny tears, oh no I sobbed and felt like I had been dealt a bad hand. This feeling isn’t often shared as dramatic with men as they tend to cope better with bad news and they haven’t been dreaming of this little baby they can call their own since they were little.
When I met my husband almost 10 years ago it was a pretty instant lighting bolt moment, and we knew we had found our missing puzzle piece. However when we discussed where we saw children in this mix he was so laid back and didn’t see them happening for another 7/8 years which didn’t work with my ‘I want babies soon’ mantra. Of course, we worked through all that and after 4 years we decided the time was right to try for a baby. Once it hasn’t happened for a while we knew we needed to seek medical help in the form of IVF. I feel even now that when someone says “you need to have IVF and go through a drug stimulation and down regulation period” your stomach drops and you feel sick. All that jargon is full on and overwhelming and all you can think is “I just want a baby”.
As you may know by now from my previous posts I have two wonderful children and I am blessed beyond belief. But although my fertility struggle is over as I won’t personally be going through this process again, the journey goes on for so many others. This has now become my focus and drive and I want to help other couples not feel so alone and overwhelmed. Even when you have 1 child already it doesn’t mean you’re not going to struggle getting pregnant again and you have every right to be sad and low if this doesn’t happen. The worst thing someone can say to you when you’re trying for baby number 2 is “just be lucky you have 1” or “it will be easy for you as you have a little one already”. It’s just as soul destroying when you can’t get pregnant the 2nd or 3rd time as it is the first. Ultimately your heart wants what is wants and all you can do is try to find your path along the way
Fertility is hard, it can break you down, it can reshape you as a person, but it can bring out some wonderful things out of you like strength, respect, drive, a deeper connection with your partner and love. So if you’re on this path yourself and need some support my treatment room is always open, when you are injecting yourself daily and feeling low remember you’re a warrior. When you have a secret cry in the car because you have seen pregnant people everywhere and you’re finding it hard to process, know that you are not alone and crying isn’t a weakness. When you get a little angry and sad at pregnancy announcements on Facebook and Instagram remember that’s a normal feeling, just give yourself a break from it all and focus on what makes you happy. Be kind to yourself and if its been a bad day start again tomorrow. You are amazing so stop doubting that!!