Women Supporting Women

So, after a lovely Bank holiday weekend with family and friends it made me really start to reflect on the relationships we have around us. I’m so lucky to have a wonderfully diverse group of women fighting my corner however that doesn’t mean I’m not my own worst enemy when it comes to opening up and asking for help. After the birth of my second child Lola I knew I was incredibly lucky to get my miracle baby and that having IVF may have been hard but geeeze you would inject yourself for years if you get to hold these tiny fingers in your hand. When I looked at her little face I felt such an overwhelming sense of love but the fear of looking after two little people starting to catch up with me too. It wasn’t an overnight thing but a few months in I began to feel lost within myself and I couldn’t see a way of things getting better, I knew what I was feeling wasn’t normal but it also wasn’t post-natal depression, so I was kinda stuck in this weird limbo land where I just needed to get on with things.

When you have fertility problems your so focused on the end result, getting the miracle baby that you don’t think about what happens after. After having rounds of IVF and spending so much money for our truly miraculous babies, I knew I needed to be happy and grateful every day. You don’t want to admit this is hard and that you are struggling because this is what you have worked so hard for. Instead you pretend you are fine but have a secret cry in the fridge while the toddler is throwing a tantrum and the baby is screaming for the 200th time that day. Crying in private became a daily thing and each day felt such long and hard work. I didn’t hate life, I still loved my kids with every part of my being, but I felt like I had lost myself and life was grinding me down. Being honest with those closest to you is hard and you want to appear strong and in control, but who are we really fooling?! One particularly bad afternoon when the baby had been glued to me for hours on end and the toddler had kicked off over every little thing and been a nightmare on a playdate, I finally hit the wall and knew I needed to offload. My husband was great and offered physical help at home with more of the life admin jobs I was struggling with and helped make me feel loved, but I also needed my tribe of fearless women that knew just what to say and do. Together they built me back up and although I still have days and weeks where I feel like a failure for struggling, when this is all I have ever wanted. I know if I call them they tell me I’m being daft and how common and normal all this is and I feel like I can breathe again.

Women supporting women is powerful and will always create some amazing things. Even if you don’t have your own tribe of fearless women supporting you doesn’t mean you can’t find them. You are not alone and finding the right support can make all the difference to your life. Friendships new and old can provide you with just what you need. So, my lovelies if this relates to you even one tiny bit, reach out, its not to late to make the difference to your day, week or month. We are stronger together xxx